The Povich

Dear Slizzy, I'm glad to have you as a reader. It's refreshing to know that someone shares the same affinity for gaming and hatred for Hobo as I. I hope that this post will further your gaming prowess and improve your techniques.

From your question it is obvious that you are a novice in the gaming community. The Povich is a very amateur technique that has an extremely low success rate. The success to slap ratio on average is around 0.2 per gamer, excluding casual dismissals or total disregard to techniques. This amounts to 5 slaps for every 1 success, a noteworthy ratio, particularly if you have a sensitive face and are averse to being slapped; you'd be a fool to even attempt it.

The Povich originated in the United Kingdom in the early 90's. At the time, prominent talk show hosts, Trisha Opener or Jeremy Kyle were the original talk shows used to bait. Later, when this technique crossed the pond to America, Maury Povich was substituted for the British talk shows.

You simply approach a target and ask her for an opinion on whether or not a friend should appear on the talk show. The conversation should proceed in a linear manner as follows:

Gamer: "Hey, I need an opinion...blah blah. " My friend has been asked to go on the Maury Povich Show blah blah. Cool I know, well anyway, he's got a secret admirer, and so…..What do you think, should he or not?"
Always disagree with your targets opinion and neg. her a little...
Gamer:"See i think that his admirer may turn out to be a man, so that would be so embarrassing for him and he's kinda shy, but it would be fun. What would you do?"
If they say that they wouldn't go on it, but your friend should go – then you have your in.
Gamer: "So, you'd make my friend go but you wouldn't do it yourself. You're not adventurous or spontaneous are you, how do your friends take you out... etc, etc,"

The Povich is an outdated technique and it should only be attempted if you enjoy being slapped. In more modern times, the Maury Povich Show has been substituted by other like Jerry Springer, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy, and Squawk Box. Thanks for your question Slizzy - Keep them coming… Viva La Resistance‼ Down with HOBO!!
AOT

Christmas Eve

Good Morning Readers - I want to remind all that Christmas Eve is one of the best days of the year to game via text messaging. Recipients tend to be with their family and will do anything to get some relief on x-mas eve. Something as simple as "what are you wearing" to something even a bit more forward like, "wanna sext?" will almost always do the trick. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. Try finding invaluable tips like this on Hobo's blog...

AOT

Welcome to Gaming 101

Welcome new readers. This blog will be a weekly publication about up and coming gaming techniques. This blog will have two objectives: (1) to provide a forum for gamers, amateurs and professionals alike, to share experiences and advice, and (2) to bring shame to the Hobo and his "Blog." Hobo continues to censor his "blog" in a manner that would bring joy to the Chinese Media Czar. This behavior violates the fundamental freedom of expression that the blogging platform was created to encourage. It is intolerable behavior.

For my first post, I will rehash a piece that Hobo censored from his own blog. It is a gaming technique that has brought me success many times and I hope it brings you the same. Next week I will provide you with a sure fire way to be successful on New Year's Eve, and probably again on New Year's Morning -

The Sketch Artist

Carry around a pen and a small spiral-note pad. Catch the eye of the lady you fancy. Once you do, make a big show of pretending to sketch her. Furrow your brow and act as if you are in deep concentration.

Now, what you are actually doing on that pad of paper, is sketching the crappiest, STICK FIGURE drawing of her that would embarrass a dyslexic five year old! Draw her friends in very tiny, no bigger than the size of dimes Label it accordingly, such as, "Beautiful Woman At Dinner With Friends". Then with a flourish, sign it, date it, and fold it two.

Walk up to her at the table and say, "Excuse me...but your beauty has inspired me to high art." At this point, you can work it two ways. You can simply walk away and return to your seat as she opens and unfolds it. What will happen is she will pause... then burst out laughing and show it to her friends. After you've returned to your seat, wave with a flourish and take a bow, like you are proud of your work. About 50% of the time they will wave you over to the table and play along.

Explain that it is an ABSTRACT rendition that emphasizes the underlying ephemeral aspects of the counterpointing metaphorical structure as super-imposed on the physical aspects of the rendition of the work. Ham it up good!

This "Crappy Artist" approach also works wonders for waitresses, hostesses, flight-attendants, etc. etc. etc. It works for girls sitting alone or with friends. It's the perfect way to get the attention of women at the beach or by the pool. It's fun, easy and really quite effective but it does take some balls and every once in a while, some women won't appreciate it. I even once had a woman rip the drawing in half and glare at me [at which point you should be glad that you found out so quickly, what a nasty personality she has]."

I'm still working on the post entitled. "How can she Slap?" Stay tuned for more…

AOT